Temporary Happiness

Not gonna get a boyfriend in the near future. Because of everything that has happened, I'm too scared to fall in love. What's more, facing things like: mental breakdown moments, sensitivity issues, expectations--disappointments. And a whole long list of other stuff I'd have to face when in a relationship.

Here's a secret:
I still think about you every single day. (ps/not every minute/hour. But recurring times a day.) maybe you're just like a reminder, not to look at cute guys or fall in love because I don't deserve to be in love.

Oh how am I ever gonna get past this?

Maybe I'm just a big time screw up. Put the blame on me because I seem like the biggest bitch. Well no, not every single thing is my fault. Don't judge me for my past mistakes.... Is it wrong to be nice to other people? (not a freaking fake moment here)

Need to start doing something about my diet and time. Before everything starts getting out of hand... Time's ticking awayyyy. Oh dear. HENGYEE please snap out of whatever this is before it's too late and there's no room for salvation.

Oh well, r/s is too much to handle right now.
I shall be independent. I repeat- i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t

Moo moo I'm a little cow. Haha

Just remembered how my coursemates teased me about the free cone day.... :') super funny. Oh and this was before we all met each other. And if you're wondering who's that girl in the picture, that's me. Haha. I wouldn't wanna speak too soon, talking about all their good points and all, cuz I'm aware I have a jinx mouth and whatever I say will be the total opposite the next moment. So I don't wanna talk about it. =) goodnight guys. Microecons lecture and biz communication tmrw. =) hmmmm

Yew wei (senior) posted an unglam picture of me rapping during gem camp performance on Facebook. And now everyone's just "hong ah hong ah hong ah" "encore encore" "aiseh hengyee minaj sia" "trendy rangers founder so cool" "eh when we get alot of likes for our trendy rangers page, we ask her rap for all of us" "radio heatwave" :( so embarrassing. But it's quite funny cuz after me, yew wei posted other people's unglam pictures. Thank God I'm not the only one. =D haha ok, Gabriel (used to be my ec in gem camp) is so good at scramble. Sigh. What a loser I am!

OH ANDDD ONE REALLY GOOD NEWS... I GOT INTO BA ENVOYS. ^___^ thought I wouldn't get in because..... I dunno. Haha. I initially didn't want to sign up for BA envoys because I dread interviews and I didn't think it was fun. I only signed up because all my friends and seniors were pestering me non stop. So I was just "ok ok, heck it. I'll sign up. Happy?! :(" But now that I got in, I AM ACTUALLY KINDA EXCITED FOR WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT >) 3 people get interviewed together at the same time, and I heard only 1 out of 3 will get in. That makes me... Extremely lucky! So I will try not to be a waste of space and attend(or help organise)as many events (along with everyone else;those that are in BA envoys) as possible :)

Went out with Darien yesterday because he wanted to buy a bag and needed my opinion. He kept thinking short term and i was asking him questions like "Will you carry it for long?" "what if it goes out of fashion?" "sling? Then, your laptop everything all put inside? Not heavy?" "I'd rather you get backpack or smth" and his reply was "I CAN'T STAND MY NIKE BAG ANYMORE" HAHAHA. lol. We talked mainly on clothes, cuz we walked around town and I was telling him how much I adore the guys stuff at topman. Oh then we met his friend's girlfriend hahaha. She was damn tall and she said I have really nice hair and I looked nice. Why thank you. :) hahaha. She looked mixed. Tall (rough estimation.. 175 at least). Slightly tanned. Parallel eyelids. Sharp nose. Slightly crooked teeth but pretty overall. :) *inferior* hahaha. She was really nice and friendly. IJ girl btw, wormzie are you reading this? Hehe. Okay, so we took bus 14 and we were just talking to get to know each other better. guys, girls, religion, music yada yada. Then he decided to get off at my stop cuz he said "let me send you home" He didn't believe I stayed on a hill, so I HAD to show him. He stood there in amazement. hahahaha! I was like "I told you so" oh yea, he was telling me about his disgusting toe nail incident. He said he still keeps his toe nail (sterilized) and wants to bring it someday. Whoa, damn gross please. I was utterly disgusted. Overall, darien's pretty much a gentleman. He's not like doo-ble-voo. He helps to hold the door for girls and all. Wonder why he's single. Okay, he may not be cute (average, IMO.) but he's sweet. Just that... He seems.... He doesn't like to pay attention in class ah? Hahaha. Talks alot and teases me every single day! AND HE HAS GIRL EYES. LONG THICK EYELASHES HAHA. everytime I say "eh you have girl eyes" he'll call me to shut up. :( hahaha. Okay. Whatever~

OH MY GOSH. I just realized I typed a post entirely about Darien. Sigh. Okay.
Today was boring. EBA tutorial was boring. Acf was slightly confusing. Dtm lecture was a-ok! :) understood what Mr Lee went through just that he has short termed memory (skipped a few slides) (forgot where he stopped teaching.. Sigh) I'm so tired to think of what to wear to school daily. Everyday's like a fashion show down. Oh, this girl... She dresses well. My sis told me to compete with her. Lol. She's nice. :) average tall girl that has good fashion sense. Haha. Okie goodnight. :)

P/s: why is it that everyone likes scaring me. why is it that everyone likes teasing me.
P/s/s: pretty girl and I are not that close anymore :(
P/s/s/s: jie x2, is constantly reminding me not to screw things up (relationships, studies and all) I love my jie x2, even though she can be an irritant at times.
P/s/s/s/s: the guys say doo-ble-voo's a bit gay hahahahahaha

Had a really nice time studying and catching up with my BRAP and makrep. :) I'm so sad I'm not taking the same sem as them.... It's like they can ask each other questions but I have no one to ask because sucky me is stuck in 1.2. And not to mention the people in my group aren't really attentive except junhui but he's always so busy with everything so I don't rlly dare to ask. K abrupt goodbye. Goodnight.
O and glen came to join us for dinner. If y'all don't know who's glen, he's Branwen's boyfriend and they both look so cute together. If I were to say this to my BRAP, she'd call me to shut up. Because I tell her that everytime they are together. HAHA. But srsly, too cute. They both have the same smile!

Ps/ payphone cover by Alex g is stuck in my head. Everyone should take a listen because it's my fav. And i am commanding you to, NOW haha kidding
Pss/ I'll update again. Haha